The Dissatisfaction from my place of employment

Good Morning everyone!! It’s Tuesday, yet again and I can’t seem to shake the feeling of pure frustration with certain aspects of my life. This is due to my place of employment and the work I do. As a Pricing and Inventory, aka sales assistant aka Miss Data Entry, I sit and look at a computer screen Monday through Friday sending emails and entering data into the CRM system. Looking at numbers on a daily basis has started to drive me absolutely insane and sure enough has affected my mental health and overall attitude.
As my first job out of college, I was beyond delighted when I received my offer. It’s a national syndicated television network. Although they don’t produce any of their shows. ION makes money from acquiring different television shows from CBS or NBC at a low cost. They run these programming on their network, selling advertising space to different clients such as Macy’s, Pfizer, and etc. Then I come in with the national TV account maintenance, shifting units from week to week, sending logs and programming grids, retrieving marketing assets from buyers and negotiators on the agency side. Nothing unique or special about that…
At the company, I am the lowest on the totem pole and I’ve had enough! I been at the company for a little over a year now and I’ve gained my experience. However, I’m finding it quite hard to get another job or interview I actually see myself liking. Receiving not one, but two degrees in college: Public Relations & Advertising, I wouldn’t expect my job search to be this hard. I have no idea what I want to do, but this for sure is not it. I’ve applied to marketing positions, public relations positions, anything, you name it and I’ve applied. But still no luck!
What bothers me most about the company is there is no HR present. While we do have HR, they are located in the Florida office. They fly into New York once every 4 months when someone needs firing… Go figure!!! It’s not like I can complain about my VP’s condescending tone of voice or manager’s passive aggressive emails to HR when I barely know who they are. To be honest, I could go on and on about the bullshit this company has put me through. But I won’t. I’m not writing this for you to feel pity for me, but to understand my frustration and maybe receive insight.
As an African American woman starting off in media, I feel horrible. I’m the only black woman in my department and I don’t relate with a lot of my colleagues. I’ll hear them say insensitive things and it frustrates me because I have no one to vent to that can truly understand.. For example, one of the Account Executives said “I want slaves to serve me in Narnia.” I was actually baffled at how damn insensitive she was and she didn’t even catch herself. Not even butler, or maid but she decided slave was the most appropriate word.. Things like that make me hate my job more and want to go into entrepreneurship.
Do you guys have any advice? Any words of encouragement to help me get through another day of bullshit? I would love to hear some words of wisdom to help fast track my career. It might even be time for a career switch, who knows. Only time can tell.
Picture: unsplash

Women Chrush Wednesday

I came across this artwork in Wynwood, Miami earlier this year. 

I found it pretty interesting the artwork which stood out to me were of all women…

The one I sit in front of, resembles me in features; lips, nose & eyes…

As a woman, what does this artwork mean to you? What do you see?


Live With Your Regrets

Quite recently, I’ve started listening to Ted Talks on my commute to work. A few of my friends and colleagues have mentioned the “talks” to me, calling them insightful ideas. During time spent on Pinterest, I noticed a post on my feed: “Ted Talks Worth listening to.” I opened the list and skimmed through the titles. The first one I noticed was “Don’t regret regret” by Kathyrn Schulz. The short video would become my saving grace. I downloaded the app and decided listening was my best option. I needed some help in the mental health department anyway.

A lot of my stress has come from regret lately. I’m a person who has a wild imagination and over analyzes many situations, often effecting my mental health. So when I regret, I do honestly regret! It puts a toll on my mind for days at a time! There’s many things I regret in my 23 years of life, some of which I have to live with forever, like a tattoo…When Kathyrn uses her own tattoo as an example of her regret, I immediately made a connection with her because she’s someone who understands the pain.

However, Kathyrn beautifully notes how regret makes us human. Without regret you cannot be the best version of yourself. You cannot flourish into the gem your destined to become. Regret makes us want to do better and strive to become a better person. Embrace the things you look back and say why. It teaches you to know better and that’s okay. She also wistfully notes, only Psychopaths are the ones who don’t feel regret.. I’ll assume none of my followers are killers, ahah so we can’t relate! Regret is a universal feeling for the most part.

If you or someone you know is suffering with regret, I suggest you watch!

Watching this talk obviously doesn’t make the regret disappear just like that, but it helps in learning to make peace with it. I’m sure everyone has experienced some form of regret in their life, whether it’s education, family, career goals or just a plain old tattoo. But we all should make peace with our regrets. I’m learning to make peace with mine. It’s easier said than done, but I know it’ll be worth it at the end.